Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Don't Worry. Life Will Only Get Worse

Sorry guys- don't know why I've become a once a week blogger. I guess there's just not much going on in my life to write about. But I can write about this little pet peeve I have. I've been encountering it more lately.

The people who say "Oh you've only been married 5 months, so you're still happy. That won't last." And the people who say something along the lines of "You think your life is busy now. Just wait till you have kids and can't do anything."

Bitches, this is my life and if I want to be happy I will be. Maybe your marriage sucks and if so I'm sorry. But I went into my marriage fully committed to having a forever lasting, good marriage. A marriage where we communicate and strive to make an effort. A marriage where we talk about our problems and miscommunications. A marriage where we put forth the time and energy to make quality time for each other.

I am realistic. I realize that no marriage will ever be perfect. But that doesn't mean you can't stay happy and in love. I fully expect to have arguments. I fully expect to disagree over things and have times where I just don't feel like I'm getting all the love and attention that I need. But I also fully expect to communicate those issues to my husband if/when they occur and work them out.

It is not up to anybody else to just assume my marriage will go down some shitty path. It is up to me and my husband where our marriage goes. I just don't understand why people feel the need to tell all newlyweds that they better not get used to the bliss that comes from being newly married. Misery loves company, I guess.

Now on to the other pet peeve- kids. Dudes, I am so not ready for kids yet. I want them one day, one hundred percent. And I like other people's kids enough. I love my nieces and nephew. I can't stand it when people give me the kid lecture. "Oh woah is me. I have a baby and I'm in school. Baby takes up all my time." Kudos to you for staying in school after you got preggers, but it ain't my fault. You chose to bring a child into this world. I'm sure it's hard. But I don't necessarily want to here about how my life will be sooo much worse when I have them. I'm not an idiot and I know kids are a lot of responsibility. But don't downplay my life just because mine does not involve children.

Ah, it sure feels good to blog all this out.


  1. I think you have the right idea. I don't know much about marriage, but as much as I know about life in general, I would say that everyone has the opportunity to have a long and healthy and HAPPY marriage as long as they are realistic, open, and honest. People who have negative view on marriage are more likely to have an unhappy one, because that's what they expect. I'm happy that you are still so happy!

    And when it comes to kids, I agree with you there too... I know it is a tough job to be a parent... But it is also a tough job not to be.

    Blog it out byatch! (not byatch in a negative way.. I meant that in the Ari "hug it out bitch" sense... :)

  2. Oh how I love you.

    Seriously, people who put down my relationship like that piss me off. I hate that people purposly try to bring you down from your happiness because they aren't happy. It drives me nuts and I just want to yell at them to keep the synical words to themselves and stop trying to make me miserable like that are. It is just jealous, which is so ugly. You have a great outlook for it, I love it!

    Oh I agree about the kids too. I don't want kids but I know they are hard work. Duh. If they didn't know then they are oblivious to the world. They spread their legs, they can suck it up and take responsibility for them without whining all the time.

    Wow, that does feel better. I love ranting posts. Thanks for posting this!

  3. I'm totally with you! Whenever people hear that I've been married only 6 months, they ask how I like married life. When I reply with something like "it's going great," they kind of chuckle and say "oh, well you're still in your honeymoon phase." I'm not sure why everyone just assumes that marriage gets worse with time. No two marriages are the same and for all they know, mine could get better every year (I hope it does)!

  4. BLUGH! You know what is funny? I get this same sort of response, but I'm not even married. "Oh, you guys may have been dating awhile (ahem, 2 years), but just wait until you get married, everything changes."

    Ahem - NEWSFLASH - I know ALL about married life! I have an ex-husband who was less than faithful, and you know what?? I still believe in marriage, love, and commitment and fully believe in my heart that it is OUT THERE FOR ME!

    Don't let them get you down Love. If they do, send 'em my way. I'd be happy to kick 'em in the knee caps for you.

  5. Amen, dude! Amen! I hate it when people just assume that everyone's relationships have the same failings that their own have.

  6. Great post.

    I'm getting married next year and I already feel like people are waiting to tell me to enjoy the happiness while it lasts.

    As for kids? I feel the same way. Some day. Not now. It does not make my life any less important. Just because I want to be without them for a while longer does not make me a bad person.

  7. get out of my head! I have a coworker who has 4 kids (all boys), and when I come to work complaining about how I didn't sleep well, she automatically responds with, "yeah, trying having an 8 month old baby..."

    UH, no thanks, sweetheart! yes, I understand your life is busy because you chose to have 4 kids, but just because I DON'T have kids doesn't mean I don't have a life of my own and sometimes sleeping problems. geesh!

    and you know what other phrase I'm sick of hearing? "oh, you guys are still in your honeymoon phase." ugh. shoot me in the face.

  8. I hate when people do that shiz.

    Jealousy doesn't look good on anyone. ;-)

  9. Working at the restaurant I do, everyone knows everyone. So I get a least two or three times a day "hows the newlywed" I am almost preferring we/I never told anyone we were getting married because its old.

    Then the whole baby thing, drives me bonkers. I am 25, Brian will be 25 in May. We don't HAVE to have kids right now. Come'on. give it up. :) Glad I found your blog.

  10. News flash. Marriages can be amazing and awesome forever. My aunt and uncle are my heroes, because they have been married for 21 years and are still as happy as ever. She always tells me even more so. He still calls her at night when he works, just to hear her voice. (awww!) Mr. NewlyHusband loves you to pieces, and I know this from our heart to hearts at a good swim up bar I know. ;)
    Tell it like it is girl. People are nutso. Don't get married if you aren't happy with the man...that's pretty easy. Thanks for saying everything I've been thinking.