Thursday, September 17, 2009

Patience...And the Baby Talk

First of all, please be patient with me as I try to find a background for the blog that I am happy with.

Now on to the real subject of this blog...babies. Oh no, don't get scared away! I'm not having any any time soon. But no newlywife blog would be complete without a post on the baby talk.

Why oh why, is it the first thing people ask you after you get married? "Oh you're when are you having kids." Woah...woah...woah...slow it down there buster. We were being asked this question less than TWO WEEKS after our wedding day.

Let me give you some background. The newlyhusband is...well...older than me. By a bit. So I can understand why his mom wants us to have kids quickstyle. She's ready for grand-babies. And yes, because he is older than me, we may have kids sooner than we would otherwise. Now, let me give you more background- I am in college people. Yes, yes, I took a couple years off and should have been done way before now. But I'm not. I'm still there- 7 1/2 months left (yeah, I'm counting). Do you really think I want to be preggers (yep, I said preggers) while I am in my last semester or two of college? Let me answer for you- Hell to the no.

But when I tell people that I would like to finish college and you know, get a real job (gasp- a career!) before we bring a child into this world, do you know the most common response..."Well, if you got pregnant now, the kid wouldn't be born until after you graduated." For real, this is their logic.

Do I want kids one day? Yes absolutely. I want to be a mom and I think the newly husband would make a great dad. We both want this. But right now, I want to come home from school, check Facebook, read my favorite blogs, do homework, catch my tv shows, spend some quality time (wink wink) with the newly husband etc. In short, I am too selfish for a kid right now.

Andplusalso, before we have kids, I want to:
Finish school
Buy a new house
Decorate and furnish and make that new house a home
Travel more (I want to make it back to Boston soon, I've never seen NYC, I would love to go to Italy and Spain and Ireland- although I realize all this may not happen first)
Get a career where I can get maternity leave, have good benefits for said kid.

So yeah, I'm not ready. Why do people assume you should be the second you say I do?


  1. Love the new layout! Also, seriously, what is it with people demanding babies from newlyweds? When my ex and I were at his cousin's wedding a few months ago, people were already asking at the reception when they planned on having kids. That's ridiculous!

    It seems to me -- although, granted, I've never been married -- that being newly married is a special, wonderful time in a relationship, and not one that should be chased away lightly. Plus, of course you'll get more out of your last (seven and a half!) months of school if you can focus on it instead of morning sickness. (And your idea of starting a career secure enough that you can feel comfortable taking maternity leave is a really really compelling one -- obviously you've been thinking deeply about this!)

    People are crazy. You could always do what my ex's cousin ended up doing at the reception: she kept a tally of every time someone asked when they'd start baby-makin', and after they asked would announce: "That's one more month I'm going to stay on birth control now!"

  2. This drives me crazy too. Can't call up the inlaws with good news, they immediately have heart faliure and think that you are bringing a new bundle of joy into the world. "Actually, we just called to say we got a new lawnmower..." **sigh**