Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Shopping, Grades, and Breaking Up With Friends

I shopped till I dropped yesterday. I went to the Town Center here, which is this huge outdoor mall. I shopped for about 4 hours! My shopping for the NewlyHusband is completely done now. I can't tell ya what I bought though, because the NewlyHusband makes his way over to this blog every once in a while. *Hi honey!* I think I may be done Christmas shopping altogether. It feels good. Now for all the wrapping. We also put our tree up last night and decorated.

Great news guys! (Not that anyone really cares but me, but it's my blog and I'm happy, so I shall post)- I got my grades for this past hellish semester. In my American Revolution and Constitution class, I got a B. In my Irish History class, I got a B+, and in my Modern China class and Global Environmental History class, I got A-'s. I'm sooo glad that semester is done and over with and so stoked that I got all A's and B's.

Now, as for breaking up with friends. Have you ever had this come up before? You have a friend that you used to be really close with, but for some reason, you're just not anymore. In all harsh honesty, you would be okay just not talking to them anymore. You don't want to catch up, you don't want to hang out, you certainly don't wish them ill or have any dislike toward them, you just don't click with them anymore. But the friendship just won't go away. Don't you wish you could just call them up and say "Ya know, we had some really great times together. It's not you, it's me, but I think we need to break up as friends. No hard feelings. I really hope you have a great life without me in it."

I have a "friend" like this in my life. We were really close for a while, but not so much anymore. The things he says and does kind of annoy me. I just don't see a need to keep up with each other anymore. I think we are in two very different points in our life.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever had a friend you wanted to break up with, not for any particular reason, just cuz you didn't want to be friends anymore? That sounds so kindergarten, I know. Are they still in your life or did you break up with them? Lemme know!


  1. Congratulations of those marks!! Wow and you have time to blog too, pretty impressive! About that friend you want to be ex-friends with, well I don't know what to tell you. I guess if she stops enjoying the time you are together she may get the hint, ie you're busy or not interested or whatever maybe use your school as an excuse to not hang out as much. It's not going to be easy, woman are a lot smarter than men (didn't you say your hubby reads this Lol!) and she may know exactly what you're up to and call you on it. Good luck!

  2. Yay! I so need to finish my shopping! Wanna come keep my company for hours on end while I pick up stuff and decide I don't wanna spend that much and move on to the next thing?

    Congrats on your grades! I'm so happy for you!

    As far as friends. Hm. I'm not sure if I've really went through this. I've had friends that we were BFFs for a year and the next year we just didn't have out as much in school. I've only had one true best friend and we've been friends since the 5th grade. Everyone else it's just like we've drifted away. I know I'm no help but I hope you figure it out! I'm always here if you want to vent! :)

  3. MNM- Well the friend is a guy, so I should have that to my advantage! Haha.

  4. Kudos to you on your grades and getting your shopping done! I am still in shopping purgatory.

    As far as breaking up with friends, I have been there and know exactly where you are coming from with the whole not-disliking-the- person-but-not-really-connecting-with-them anymore. I don't think it sounds harsh. I think it is realistic. Sometimes, your lives just take divergent paths and those things that bonded you, well, they just don't exist anymore. If I had to guess, deep down, your friend probably knows your friendship is different now too.

    I guess the only time though, that I've actually said the words, "Hey, listen I don't want to be friends anymore," was when there was actually something bad and unforgivable that happened between the two of us. Usually when it was just a matter of not really wanting to hang out anymore, I just didn't, and things sort of faded and worked themselves out. One will only get invited so many times, before the invitations stop. If he calls you on it, just be honest.

    Okay, this makes me sound like a break up with friends left and right! I really don't/haven't, but it has happened 2 or 3 times in my life for sure.

    Hope this helps and sorry for the long ramble!

  5. First off, congrats on your grades and being done with shopping! I still haven't started and I am freaking out a little!!

    As for breaking up with friends, I have definitely had to deal with this. Well not necessarily breaking up with them, but I am guilty of the phase out. There are a few friends that I have finally "gotten rid" of, but now later in life, I kinda wander if I made the right decision. Sometimes those people come around and are there for you when you least expect it...

  6. Hey there :) just added your blog to my list of blogs to follow, hope you will do the same..

    Does it count is the breakup between a good long time friend was mutual>?
    - We had no choice, her husband and my boy worked with one another. He was laid off and well.. he went to go work for a competing company. We broke up as friends (a good 3 yr friendship) without speaking about the slit.. it was a unspoken understanding that we had. I still miss her.. and there will be no replacement. I have other friends here, but she was my bestest within a close drive to me.

    I think everyone has been there, and if they haven't they surely will at some point in their life.

  7. Congrats on getting awesome grades!

    Also, I totally feel you on the friend break-up. It's so hard! I had a friend back in California who was a close friend of a guy I really liked. Then he moved away and we hung out a few times without him and had an incredible time! I was crazy about her!

    Then it turned out that she was just plain ol' crazy. All of a sudden, she would get depressed all the time, call me in tears then refuse to talk because she didn't want to burden me, threaten to commit suicide then disappear for a few days. I mean, really high-level drama. I kept hanging out with her because I felt badly, and she would constantly tell me how I was the only person who she felt really cared about her. I supported her as best I could and told her non-stop to seek professional help -- which she finally did after many months, thank goodness!

    As terrible as it is to admit it, I desperately wanted to friend break-up with her. She was just sucking out all my energy! It was just so unhealthy. But as much as I swore to, I was always too much of a wimp. Then I moved to Boston and did the cowardly thing: stopped responding to her emails until she (I hope!) got the hint that I didn't have energy for her in my life.

    ...sorry, didn't mean to blogjack with that obscenely long comment. And I know it's sort of a different situation. But I guess my point is that I wish I had done the brave thing and just told her, kindly but firmly: "Look, I care about you and I love you, but this isn't working for me. Let's focus on our relationships with other people." I think that's definitely the best and most direct thing to do, even though it's scary!

  8. Found your blog through 20sb.

    I've broken up with a friend before. Our friendship was the "sometimes on, sometimes off" kind of thing. Something generally was more important than us talking or hanging out.

    So when I got fed up with it, I told her how I felt and took partial blame as I just didn't put the effort in anymore. She told me she didn't understand the concept of "breaking up with friends" and told me it wasn't possible as she would still talk to me on Facebook or whatever when she got the chance. I promptly removed her from there to hint at it being possible and haven't heard from her since.

    Good luck!

  9. Woohoo to the grades!

    Re: the friend thing. I've definitely broken up with a friend before and it was the right thing to do. Some relationships are toxic and if they're not bringing happiness to you, it can't be good.

  10. Am stopping by from the "We love comments" group on 20sb and am really liking your blog
    First of all, congratulations on your grades! Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy a well deserved Christmas break now!
    Secondly, I've never had that situation as such, but as Beach Belle says, it seems to be a realistic one. Everyone changes and neither you nor your friend sound like you're getting the best of this half hearted friendship.

  11. I'm a fan of the fade out, if there's no BIG reason you want to "break up" with them... I say just let it happen organically.